About the Gottman Therapy Method

The Solution to Make Your Relationship Work

Pioneers in relationship science, Drs. John and Julie Gottman have revolutionized our understanding of marriage, relationships, and couples therapy. They draw upon four decades of breakthrough research with more than 3,000 couples.

The Sound Relationship House Theory is the foundation of the Gottman Method, which uses a practical approach to help couples break through barriers to achieve greater understanding, connection, and intimacy in their relationships.

Successful couples use the Gottman Method, and so do those who want to be. The real magic happens when you don’t just understand our concepts, but actively apply them to everyday life—turning insights into action. At the end of the day, every couple is just two humans in a relationship, shaped by the past, wounds, dreams, beliefs and aspirations. When the relationship struggles, it impacts everything. But it doesn’t have to stay that way.

1: The Love Lab Assessment

In traditional couples therapy assessment, treatment planning take place in the first session, and may or may not involve standardized relationship surveys. The Gottman Love Lab assessment is multidimensional over multiple days. We assess the relationship as well as each partner individually, and assess each individual’s physiological response to conflict in the relationship. The assessment covers each component of the  Gottman Sound Relationship House theory.  

You will complete three assessment sessions that are 90 minutes each. In the first assessment session we take an in-depth relationship history.  On the second assessment session we spend 45 minutes with each partner for individual assessments. On the third assessment session we review all the data from the relationship surveys, video evaluations, and interview sessions.  From this we make goals, and written plan that addresses the specific needs for your unique relationship.

These assessment sessions include a series of in-depth online relationship surveys called the Gottman Relationship Checkup, and video assessment of discussions between you and your partner.  

You will be provided with a detailed written report, and after the assessment you will be given full access to the Gottman Relationship Coach tutorial series. For some couples the information they gain out of the Gottman assessment process alone is sufficient for them to make the changes they need. 

2: The Therapy Process

The first 3 visits are the “assessment phase”, and the couple therapy does not begin until the assessment phase is completed. Couple therapy is 6-9+ sessions, are at least 90 minutes each, and take place once a week in the beginning.

Each session focuses on your the layers of  The Sound Relationship House. Therapy addresses issues the couple brings into the session – whether it involves current concerns, or old hurts, or whatever is needed to be worked through. We create a safe environment to address old hurts and betrayals, a place where every wound can be soothed. In dealing with the day-to-day struggles of life, specific conversations are facilitated.

Methods and principles are practiced in the session that have been demonstrated to increase safety, and mutual understanding. The emphasis of therapy is to compromise where possible, and practice acceptance where differences are likely to persist.

Video recording and physiological monitoring are also integral to Gottman Therapy sessions as a teaching tool. As the principles are mastered, sessions may be spaced out further. 

3: The Length of Sessions

Traditional couples therapy is done in a 45 to 50 min therapy hour. The Gottman Method roughly doubles that time to 90 minutes weekly (or more often). The longer session allows time for each partner to fully process their perception of an issue, reflect understanding, and to practice application of new principles, for better repairs.

Dr. Gottman has demonstrated that the more time you focus early in treatment, the better the results. The 90 minute at least weekly approach is clearly better than traditional 45-to-50-minute sessions.